Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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