Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize