Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
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I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
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I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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