Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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