I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
