I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
