I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
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He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
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Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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