I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I stole a fireplace last night.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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