So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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