If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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