I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
