whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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