hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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