I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
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