Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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