we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
you inspire me to be a worse person
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
