4 words: hood of his car
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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