So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize