I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize