So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
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