Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize