i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize