Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
