If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
