Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
