no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
