if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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