I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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