3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
