This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
