I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
