Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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