I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize