Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
