thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
