So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
