have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I could fuck to npr.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
