you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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