i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize