I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
