My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
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