why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
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My vagina just recognized that song.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
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We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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