So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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