I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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