Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hippo gnu deer
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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