sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
