when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
