she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
