first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
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Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
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Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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