So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
