At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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