I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Randomize
