just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
