Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
