She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
