Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
as a side note pls kill me
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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