yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
