Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
