Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
